i luff it when you talk foreign!

god as my witness i hated afrikaans when i was young. like no other subject at school i dreaded its arrival. it mystified me. i trembled the entire lesson when we were doing mondeling (spoken afrikaans) fearing that suddenly the teacher would choose me to speak and my ignorance would be exposed. throughout my school career it was consistently my lowest mark. my mother took drastic measures. she made me read afrikaans with her in the evening, reading had always been fun before, now the evenings held a dark promise. the list of words i had to memorize grew and grew. fortunately, it seemed to work. my marks stabilised in the mid 60% and the reading lessons stopped. as a further incentive my mother tied my pocket money value to my afrikaans mark. this is why i was constantly poor in high school. then with a final 60% in my final year of school i was free and able to find alternative sources of income.

after some reckless months of laziness with nic and dave and pizza delivery; i settled on physiotherapy as a possible career and was accepted. in second year there was an afrikaans course and i surprised everyone by not fouling it up. my tutor was mildly startled when i even managed to come top of our group for an oral exam (it only happened once) i didnt hate afrikaans any more, in fact it was now a useful tool, most of my patients were afrikaans. i didnt get fluent but i did get passable.

now, i know lots of foreign people. my mother hosted many students learning english in south africa and you cant be friends with nic and not meet foreign people. that guy has his PhD in foreign... girls... knowing them... yes.

as you may notice, foreign people have this annoying habit of looking at you, turning to their friend(s) and jabbering away in some incomprehensible lingo. they then look back at you and laugh. fuckers.

get your own back! speak afrikaans! lekker